![]() I don’t want to do all that driving,” or “We can’t afford that this year.” If you try to make your child happy by going out of your way, you will react strongly and forcefully if he decides later he doesn’t want to do it. Remember, everything you offer or make available to your children is your choice. ![]() While I don’t expect you to take responsibility for that, how can we make this fair for both of us?” Then go to the bargaining table and come up with something that works for both of you. I have spent quite a bit of money on this program. Make sure you feel balanced so you don’t become resentful and reactive. We need to show up today so you can talk to the coach.” I’ll get the number so you can call.” “The team expects you to be there. You will need to let her know that you won’t be coming. If he wants to quit, let him know about the teacher or director’s point of view. “Sounds like you changed your mind/are not happy with this program anymore/don’t feel like going today.” Acknowledge your child’s dislike, boredom, wish to stay home.Could it be the teacher, particular instrument or sport, or other children involved that your child doesn’t like? Perhaps your child is feeling stressed and over programmed and simply needs a break from activities. What to do in the face of refusal or desire to quit: Think of these opportunities as a smorgasbord giving your child a taste of many things. Knowing that requires our trust in our child’s potential. When he finds a match for his interest, he will stay. We need to present opportunities to our children with the expectation that if it clicks, great, if not, oh well, let’s try something else. Many kids find nothing of interest until high school, college or even beyond. If a child hits on an activity that is of great interest she will stick to it, but if she tries something that isn’t what she wanted, she will want to stop. Most children don’t know where their passions lie for many years to come. Youth is about taking advantage of opportunities to try out all kinds of different things. Wouldn’t you? We jump to the “quitter” conclusion way too quickly and decide that our child will never follow thru on anything.ĭo you remember being pressured to do something you didn’t want to do? Did you ever think something was a great idea and then changed your mind? Of course you did. The truth is that kids may want to join something, and if it doesn’t turn out the way they wanted, they will want to quit. She has no consideration for what we have gone through to make this happen.” “I can’t let it go because he’s missing this incredible opportunity.” ![]() “How far should I push and when do I let it go? Don’t I have to set high expectations?” And what of the parent who never got the opportunity for anything extracurricular and is proud to be able to afford these opportunities for his child? Or the parent whose childhood was formed by her camp experiences, yet her child stubbornly refuses to go to camp?įears pop quickly to the surface: “She’s a quitter”, “He never can commit to anything”, “What will her boss do when she decides one morning she doesn’t want to go to work?” “He just gives up.” Those fears lead us to all kinds of bribery and manipulation to get our kids to do what we want, what we think is best, never realizing how powerful our own agendas are. There’s no doubt that parents have hopes and expectations wrapped up in their child’s learning experiences. Sometimes your child has been involved with the team or the lessons and says, “I want to quit.” How many times have you signed your child up for swimming, soccer, gymnastics, violin or piano lessons, camp-she even being begged for it-only to hear, “I don’t want to go”? It’s hard not to be furious-“But you said this is what you wanted”-especially when money is involved.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |